I have no objection anymore but I just wanted to shout to get you to my
link enjoy http://aceattorney.sparklin.org/jeu.php?id_proces=36432

I can see your enthusiasm in the work. But, for no other words that aren't so harsh, I've got to say that this is a mess. I'm guessing that this is just a test, since you put random colored text here and there, sometimes it scrolled on its own, and sometimes it did not. And some text boxes ended up being huge. And, for something without a single choice, there sure is a lot of evidence.

I'm in no position to complain about the grammar since mine's not that better, but still...

Keep being enthusiastic, and test as much as you want. I'd like to see what else you come up with.

I work hard on this .. this has been all planned out the reason I use colour (Uk spelling) text is to show the different voices because Mr Edgeworth is wearing a red jacket.. i thought I put a red text in.. so
I did it for a purpose I worked really hard on this and there is a reason why there is a lot of evidence and
they all do have a link to each other.. so please can we have suggestions not calling people work a mess
straight off.. You'll all see watch this space....

I'm going to have to be critical here. It's the only way you can improve.

First off, the trial thread is a mess. It creates an uninteresting place to play trials. Trials are long endeavors so many people won't feel the need to play a game if the thread shows a disorganized grunt look. If you need help with layouts, you could always check other trial threads for inspiration.

2. The English is pretty bad. I can understand not everyone can be an English Major, but we can all try and get people to help. This doesn't look like it was re-read, and the entire thing misses a lot of punctuation. Try re-reading it straight away and fixes as much as possible. Once you do, you should look for other people to beta test your trials anyway.

3. There is no need to have the red text during Edgeworth's speaking. We can clearly tell it is Edgeworth by the name cards.

4. The AA game is a 1st person game. I don't see how a 3rd person game would work but whatever. The point here is that using the Courtroom sprites here looks incredibly awkward and you could easily fix the problem by using the first person perspective

5. You shouldn't break onto four lines. It just looks cleaner that way. If your character is saying something big, try rewritting it and make it two frames.

6. All your profiles are revealed. You should only reveal profiles when they're actually introduced. ( Use the "Reveal evidence" action to the part you want it revealed.)

The entire point I'm trying to come across is that this trial is rushed. You don't need to churn out trials just yet, trials are veritable works of art that take time. So you should definitely make sure your trial is as organized and as clean as possible. People won't take you seriously if you don't.

I thought McG offered valid criticism, you need to remember to take these comments to heart. Because you don't become a better trial author through praise .

^ I think you mean "People won't take you seriously if you don't".

For the organization of the thread, I suggest you look at this OP:
http://aceattorney.sparklin.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=50&t=5128

Not just organizing the thread, but general planning and writing of the case. I don't know why you insist that it's just for the main post, Huddini.

But as far as the main post is concerned, I have no idea what this trial is about. It doesn't say anything. And it won't make anyone want to play it if they don't have any slight idea what it's about. Main posts that basically say "Here is my trial. Please play" (which is how it is reading atm) doesn't make anyone want to play it. You have to show something on the main post that will get people to play. A short synopsis of the trial (w.o revealing spoilers) should be there.



Posts like this do get you noticed, but not in a good way. It comes off more as looking like making excuses, and peers do not like that. It's not the best kind of response for some general comments. Take ZombieQ's comments into account. He covered most of the general stuff that needs to be fixed. If you need someone to list out all the mistakes, please ask, so they can help.

And also, please try to type with proper grammar and syntax. It will help to get others to take you seriously as an author.

and please get rid of the habit of using the shout bubble every time you post. It's not serving any purpose.

Umm... It's Maggey Byrde not Maggie Byrde, I just wanted to point out the mistake to help you.

I get straight on it.

Thank you I have already written a new intro...
but will can expand: I guess I was a little to quick and I am sorry.

but I am the kind of person who has had a lot of bullying in my life..
but I admit I was wrong to post that I should just take advice and leave it at that.

so that was I will do. Sorry I was feeling a little tense...

Thank you all so much for advice...

Just started fixing the spelling and the grammar in the case..
the two different case the evidence no changes it is work in progress.
Please keep on helping me..

Night

Hey guys new trial it flows a little better than the last one.
I think please it fairly it is not complete yet but will show the reason why there is a lot of evidence.

Not according to the only witness that matters.

I am sorry but I do not understand I have fixed the names in question.
and I am having trouble understanding what you mean.

I will be continued to be confused as it is unclear to me at the moment.