I begin my search for my DS, something that I obviously need to play this game. I find it easily, in a table next to my bed. Opening it, I am puzzled. The touch screen has several circular scratches on it. My eyes find themselves looking at the box of a familiar DS game. Elite Beat Agents. That's all the explanation I need for the circular scratches. Without any further ado, I turn on the DS and boot up Rune Factory 3.

Behold the glorious Engrish opening. It's a sort of charming Engrish though, and I actually grew fond of it after a while. After the opening plays, I am greeted by the title screen. I proceed to select New Game, and the game begins... kind of. The very first scene that greets us is what looks like the middle of a fantasy town, in the middle of a rather heavy rainstorm. Lying on the ground is... some sort of... yellow furball... thingy. Yes, that about sums it up. It looks so fluffy and cute. It also happens to be unconscious. Thankfully, someone steps out of a nearby building and offers to help out.

Girl: Oh! It's a monster! What are you doing all the way out here in town...?

Before I go any further, I should mention that there is a romantic element to this game, and in all Rune Factory games as well. The person who talks to us is the main heroine, who the game most expects us to end up marrying. Thankfully, it isn't as blatant as in the previous Rune Factory games, though it's still pretty obvious considering something that I will mention many, many, many updates later.

Girl: Oh no... It looks like you're hurt... Don't worry... I'll take care of you...

Says the girl, as she drags the furball thingy into the nearby building, likely hoping to skin the poor thing for its fur. Her innocent act does not fool me. You can never be too sure. I can already tell that she will likely be insane in some way. Maybe a Yandere. In any case, someone else approaches the girl. This is an old man. He likes to act old.

???: What happened? ... Hey! That's a monster!
Girl: Yes, it is.
???: What's it doing in my house!?
Girl: He's hurt! I need to help him!

But I know the truth. They're both conspiring against the poor innocent monster-thingy. They can't fool me. It's obviously a good cop, bad cop routine. The fact that the monster-thingy is unconscious is clearly irrelevant.

???: Well, you coulda done that somewhere else! What'd you have to drag him in here for!?
Girl: So I should've just left him outside in the rain? Anyway, I'll take care of him myself. I won't let him bother you.

And with that, the girl drags the monster upstairs, as the old man does nothing. I can only assume that we are about to undergo a brutal torture sequence, the likes of which should not be allowed in anything, ever. However, I am instead greeted by a scene of the monster-thingy resting on a bed, and he doesn't seem injured in any way. Ah, I see. They must be trying to make him feel comfortable at first, so they can dissect him when he has let his guard down. What evil villains, truly despicable. The screen proceeds to flash for a moment, and the background rain sound effect stops. Also, it's now daytime, as opposed to looking like it was nighttime previously! Oh, and the monster-thingy turned into a human being. But that isn't as important as the weather. For now, we'll call this blonde human being Protagonist, since we haven't named him yet.

Protagonist: ... What's going on? Wait! Where the heck am I!?

Our protagonist then proceeds to run out of the house, his instincts guiding him. He knows that he is somehow in danger. He probably read everything I just posted or something. Or maybe he just wants to find out what's going on. I prefer my explanation, to be honest.

Protagonist: This feels like some sort of weird dream... wait, who's that?

Silly protagonist. You have not had strange dreams until you have experienced dreams where you are a giant robot fighting the giant flying spaghetthi monster in outer space, using giant chess pieces to combat each other while occasionally having friendly mid-battle tea breaks. ... Not that I've ever had dreams like that, or anything. Anyway, the screen moves ahead a bit, to reveal another character. She has long red hair, and her entire appearance suggests she's a quiet person who prefers to be left alone and can come across as depressed at times. No points for guessing what her personality is like.

Quiet Girl: ...
Protagonist: Um, hello...
Quiet Girl: ...
Protagonist: Huh? Was it something I said...?

Ah, silly protagonist. You should know that some characters just don't like talking. As the main character, you must learn about several character types and how to deal with them. Then again, being extremely outgoing and insisting on talking to everyone usually works, so... yeah. Suddenly, the girl from earlier shows up.

Girl: Good morning, Raven.
Quiet Girl: Morning...

And with that, the quiet girl named Raven is the very first character whose name we find out. If you haven't already guessed yet, she's also someone the protagonist can pursue a romance with. But at this moment, we must be cautious. Raven seems to know this other girl. This could be good or bad for our protagonist. If they're on friendly terms, then it would be easy for them to capture him. If they're rivals, then perhaps the protagonist has met a good ally.

Girl: I don't usually see you around here by the tree...
Raven: ...
Girl: Oh! Hello there! I don't believe we've met. What's your name?

The protagonist can breathe a sigh of relief now. Good, in this current form, the girl doesn't recognize him. He is safe... for now. I wouldn't put human-testing past the people of this town. You can never be too paranoid. People who aren't paranoid end up being wrong. Of course, people who are paranoid also end up being wrong sometimes, but that's besides the point.

Protagonist: Huh? My name...? ...
Girl: Is something wrong?
Protagonist: Yes... I can't remember my name...

Well, that's a problem. We can't just keep calling him Protagonist, it would end up looking really weird. Already, it's easy to predict that we'll get to name him. The girl also sees the problem, though I doubt she's as concerned as she lets on.

Girl: You can't remember your name? Why not?
Protagonist: I... I can't remember who I am... My name... Where I'm from...
Girl: Do you mean you have amnesia!?
Protagonist: I guess...
Girl: Oh no! What should we do?

Well, at this point we would go to the naming screen, though obviously they wouldn't know that. Oh right, before I go on further, I would just like to say that this girl's laugh slightly creeps me out. I'm not sure why, it just does. Also, I may alter the dialogue for comedic value. Fair warning. Though this game has plenty of funny and/or strange moments anyway.

Girl!: Wait, I've got an idea! Raven, could I ask you for a favor?
Raven: A favor...?
Girl: Yes. I'll explain in a bit.

No, don't do it, Raven! She's trying to rope you into her crazy diabolical torture! Run, or you'll be tortured as well! If both you and the protagonist run, she'll probably only catch one of you! It's the only hope either of you have!

Girl: Hmmm... Well, since we don't know your name, what should we call you?
Protagonist: How about...

Finally, the name selection screen! Unfortunately, "Insert Name Here" does not fit. Not even half of that would fit. It's very tragic that pretty much every RPG ever does not have enough space to let me fit in that name. I'm going to go with the default name of "Micah", since I personally like it. Just don't ask me how to pronounce that, since I really don't know. Obviously, the voice acted segments of this game skip over the main character's name, due to the fact that you can decide it and everything.

Micah: Micah. Call me Micah.
Girl: Oh, what an intrepid name!
Micah: That would mean a lot more if I didn't know you would say that no matter what I chose to call myself.
Girl: Now, Raven... about that favor... Could you please take Micah to the Sharance Tree?

Just as I suspected, only worse. She's plotting an ambush, taking out two birds with one stone, and then laughing about it while probably plotting how to use that same stone to kill some more birds. To her credit, Raven clearly doesn't want a part of it and tries to get out of it.

Raven: What? Me...?
Girl: Yes, you. Could you do that as a favor to me?
Raven: ... Okay...
Girl: Tee-hee... Thank you very much, Raven. Well then, I'm going to go back to my house to see my grandfather. I'll come by to see you in a bit, Micah.
Micah: All right...

The girl proceeds to laugh, once again laughing that evil giggle that makes me wonder just what she could be plotting that no one could possibly predict. Still, we are safe, and for that I'm thankful.

Micah: So, what's going on?
Raven: This way...
Micah: Um, I guess I should follow her...

As soon as he says that, Micah moves up slightly, and we face a gigantic tree. A cherry blossom, it seems. And I do mean it's gigantic. I imagine you could see it from anywhere in this town. It also has a mailbox next to it, and a door and windows for some odd reason. I wonder what Micah thinks of this.

Micah: Wow, what a huge tree!

... Yeah. Well, we finally get control in this game, even if it's just for a short while. At this point in time, you have no choice except to enter the scary-looking tree, instead of running away from this strange place. Inside the tree is... well, it looks like a normal house, actually. A very nice one at that, with a bed, fridge, and everything.

Micah: This is amazing! I can't believe it!
Raven: ...
Micah: You're leaving?
Raven: My work here is done.
Micah: Why did you bring me here...? Is this my new cell?
Raven: I was asked to. Now that I've done so, I'm leaving.

Hm... I am suddenly reminded that it really does take a while before getting to the actual gameplay, at least when I have to type all this up. I recall that not having to type anything up led me to the gameplay much faster, for some weird reason I can not comprehend. It obviously makes no sense. Suddenly, the girl from earlier shows up, panting. I can only assume she's here to finish off Micah and Raven. She's probably hiding an axe behind her or something. I was always a fan of impaling someone with a sword myself.

Girl: Sorry for making you wait, Micah!
Micah: I wasn't waiting long! Just don't finish me off, please!
Girl: Huh...?
Micah: Um, never mind.
Girl: So how do you like the house?
Micah: It's very... unique.
Girl: This is where you're going to be staying, so I'm glad you like it!
Micah: I guess there are worse prison cells... wait, staying!?
Girl: Once you're here, you're trapped forever! You will live here until the day you die!
Micah: I don't remember making that decision!

As much as he tries, Micah knows that he is doomed to failure. Still, I must commend him for making a valiant last stand, trying to break away from this prison. Unfortunately, that doesn't really cut it.

Girl: Exactly! There's a lot of things you don't remember, so you should stay here!
Micah: Yeah, I guess you've got a point...
Girl: Also, there must be a reason why you ended up in this town!
Micah: To be doomed as your lab rat?
Girl: Um, no. Maybe the sweet smell of our beautiful flowers drew you here!

Seems like airtight logic. At the very least, Micah isn't arguing against it. I'm trying to think back to how smart Micah is... I wouldn't exactly call him an Idiot Hero, but he can be kind of dim at times.

Micah: Are you sure it's alright...?
Girl: Yes, I got permission from my grandpa. He's the mayor of this town!
Micah: ... Thanks, I guess?
Shara: Oh, I'm Shara by the way!
Micah: Okay, good. That makes the script format seem much less weird.
Shara: Huh? Anyway, let me welcome you to the town of Sharance.

Immediately following that, Shara offers to explain what the various furnishings around the house do. Since I won't be focusing on the gameplay aspect of the game (and just reading about it would be boring), I'm going to summarize it. There's a chest and fridge where you can store stuff. She also explains the cooking system to us, though we need to buy an actual kitchen counter to cook. For now, I can only assume Shara expects Micah to starve until he makes some money. Shara also explains the calendar, which has important dates in it, including holidays and character's birthdays.

By the way, Shara mentions that her birthday is on Spring 11th. It's Spring 2 now. A very subtle way to ask for a present. Oh right, there are only four "months" in this game, each one called a season. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter. She also mentions that Raven's birthday is Spring 29th, because she does not respect other people's privacy. She even says to "be sure to get us lots of presents!". No comment from Micah. There's also a diary, which is basically our saving function. And of course, a bed. Micah has to regularly sleep, or else he gets exhausted, which takes a toll on his battle capabilities. A huge toll. It's best to get a decent amount of sleep.

We finally get the opportunity to save, and continue on. What happens next is rather uninteresting, as Micah is then shown the farm, and how ridiculously dirty it is. He has to clean it all up. Pity him. Thankfully, something interrupts everything before the farming tutorial can start! A weird-monster thingy appears! Micah courageously stands up to fight this threatening foe, with nothing but a hoe and sickle in hand, which he got before this monster rudely interrupted the farming tutorial.

Micah: Shara! Do you have any weapons?
Shara: Use your hoe as a weapon! Press B to attack!

Since when can she break the fourth wall...? Anyway, Shara is clearly enjoying this. Since she obviously isn't hiding an axe, she probably has a knife or something. Knifey, knifey, knifey, knifey. Stabbity, stabbity, stab. I bet that she's waiting for Micah to exhaust himself fighting this monster before closing in for the kill. Thankfully, this "orc" enemy is extremely easy. Just mash the attack button and you'll be all set. Of course, this isn't the end. Two more monsters show up. I'm pretty sure that Micah could still handle them with his now blood-stained hoe, but a real weapon would be nice. Suddenly, some guy shows up with real weapons.

???: Here, use this!

This character is one of my favorites in the game. Also, he isn't the same "???" as earlier. This guy is a lot younger, carries a hammer, and is awesome. Did I mention he's one of my favorite characters in the game? Anyway, you then have a decision to make. You can choose to use a shortsword, a longsword, a spear, a hammer, an axe, a staff, or dual blades. You can always purchase a weapon of another type later, but I always use dual blades, simply because they're very fast and easy to use. It means that I can't use a shield, but the dual blades are good enough that it doesn't really matter.

Micah: I'll take the dual blades, so I can attack quickly! My defense will be lower, though!

And with that, Micah easily defeats the two enemies, and even levels up! Oh right, I should mention that this game doesn't have a normal level cap. It's very high. REALLY high. Though you may not find that out until later, since it's easy to pass the main story at a lower level. Suddenly, that guy with the hammer talks to us.

???: What's your name?
Micah: Micah. Thank you for the weapon! Who are you?
Gaius: I'm Gaius. Also, you should be thanking Raven. She came out to warn me about the monsters.
Micah: Oh, is that so? Thanks Raven!
Raven: ... *leaves*
Micah: Did I do something wrong...?
Gaius: Don't worry, that's just the way Raven is. Anyway, I've got to go. I work at the weapon shop. Feel free to stop by. Well, see ya.

After that, Shara and Micah have a brief talk about absolutely nothing, before Shara offers the farming tutorial once more. Thankfully, we're given a choice, so we can just skip the farming tutorial. However, there is one thing that can't be skipped.

Shara: Oh, I almost forgot to explain RP!

Silly Shara, I do not need RP explained to me. I have an RP army! ... Bad jokes aside, she obviously means something else.

Shara: RP is your Rune Points, your energy! If you run out of RP, your HP will go down. Running out of HP causes you to faint. Now then, let's choose a name for your farm!

And after that, we're taken to another name select screen. Again, I am in an uncreative mood and go with the default name, "Sharance Farm". I could probably make a bad pun based on AAO instead, but I won't. After that, Shara leaves, leaving Micah free! FREE! This is also where we stop, since this update is kind of long already. Thankfully, the tutorials are out of the way, so in the next update we'll get to meet some of the characters in the cast. And I'll have a guest-commentator.

Oh right, also, at the end of updates, I'll be providing a basic profile of any characters we meet, as long as we also know their name. This is mostly to provide an image for the characters, so all of you know what they look like.

!!NEW CHARACTERS!!

Name: Micah (Can be changed)
Commentary: Our hero, and he has just about everything you'd expect of one. He's generally a nice guy (though you can select a few dialogue options that are rather rude) and pretty much helps everyone out if they need it. Not exactly stupid, but he can be rather oblivious to love at times. His voice is very calm, but becomes more hot-blooded in his battle dialogue. He's also a deadpan snarker, and one of the few non-weird people in this game.


Name: Shara
Commentary: The main heroine of the game. In-game, her personality is rather cheerful and bubbly, though I am utterly convinced that she is actually a Yandere. She's (obviously) a romantic option, and the game kind of expects you to go with her. Given that there are 10 other characters who can be romanced, it's pretty unlikely you'll actually choose her. Still, I don't hate her as a character. However, her giggle will forever frighten me. Aside from her giggle though, she sounds cheerful and somewhat energetic.


Name: Raven
Commentary: I'm pretty sure Raven is the most popular character in the game. At least according to TV Tropes she is. She's a romantic option. As far as personality goes, Raven is pretty much a Kuudere, not saying much until you progress her relationship far enough. Her backstory is actually very interesting, and I can understand why she's one of the most popular characters in the game. Voice-wise, she's what you'd expect. She sounds quiet and kind of annoyed, but starts showing more emotion later on.


Name: Gaius
Commentary: Pretty much my favorite character in the game, or at least in the top 3. Gaius is the local weapon-smith, so you'll be getting your weapons from him... at least until you can make your own, and they're superior, in which case his weapon store becomes kind of useless. He takes his job extremely seriously, often passing out from working too much, but he's definitely a good person. He's very calm, and overall very friendly. His voice reflects his calmness. Usually that calmness is a laid-back kind of calmness, but he can be serious at times.

I quietly sip a cup of tea, the sound of rain in the background. Once again, I look over a list. In particular, I focus on one specific name on the list, which I have highlighted. Already I'm sort of regretting my decision. Oh well, the past is the past. My guest has promised that she won't harm anyone, and she wouldn't break a promise so easily. How strange it is that I fear my own creations. I adjust my purple top hat, making sure that it obscures the right side of my face, and take a deep breath as I do so. I close my eyes, doing nothing but counting my heartbeats. It feels like an eternity before I finally hear a familiar sound. The doorbell.

Cautiously walking, it isn't long before I reach the front door and open it. A small figure enters, and immediately takes a seat in a chair nearby. She can't possibly be more than 12 years old or so. If it wasn't for the fact that it was raining outside, I'm sure that she would be completely covered in blood. As it stands now, she's wearing all black. Her eyes are red, and her appearance makes her seem like she's from a wealthy family, but has recently been neglected for whatever reason. Still, she smiles a rather insane-looking smile. This is Rena Lanos, of the Town of the Extraordinary RP. She is sadistic, and without a doubt my third creepiest RP character ever.

GD: Hi Rena. How goes life?
Rena: I'm dead, remember?
GD: Well, you were brought back to life, so does that really count?
Rena: This bores me. I'm fairly certain no one reading this even knows who I am. Start the update. Perhaps that shall amuse me.
GD: Right. When we last left our hero Micah, he just got introduced to his new home in the town of Sharance. Now would probably be a good time to explore Sharance, and probably meet the cast.
Rena: Meeting new people? How dull. Still, watching other people talk to strangers can be amusing if misunderstandings occur... perhaps not all hope is lost.

And with that, I'm ready to resume from where we left off.



Micah braces himself, knowing that what is in store for him can not be avoided. He would actually have to TALK to the other villagers, who may or may not also be trying to capture him. This was dangerous, but he knew that if he stayed put and did nothing, they would hunt him down instead. It would be better to see who could be trusted and who was a severe threat to his life. Of course, he could spend some time clearing up his farm (which is extremely littered) but he knows that if he does that, he'd keep on delaying what's important. Besides, thanks to Gaius, Micah now has dual blades with him, so he isn't defenseless. With newfound courage, Micah runs towards the town of Sharance. Pity the poor fool, as he has no clue what he has just gotten himself into.

At first, all is peaceful. It's still around 7:30 AM, so there's no one outside just yet. Oh right, I should mention that 1 second = 1 minute in this game. And that's honestly for the best, since if this was in real-time, it would get boring extremely quickly. So Micah aimlessly wanders around town, heading towards the south.

Rena: This town is boring. Where are the murder mysteries and insane people?
GD: No murder mysteries in this game. As for insane people... there's some hope there.

Micah proceeds to take a risk, and enters one of the buildings. He almost immediately regrets his thoughtless action. It appears to be a garden shop, and it looks rather nice. But that isn't what scares him.

Shara: Welcome.♪ Oh, Micah. I'm glad you're here.
Micah: So this is your torture chamber? Not bad at all. It looks just like a flower shop.
Shara: Huh? But it is a flower shop...
Micah: Lies.
Shara: You don't believe me? Here, take a look at this. It's a magic seed.

What Shara then proceeds to show Micah is something horrifying. As she said, it's a seemingly ordinary-looking seed... but if you plant it, a plant-like creature emerges and fights alongside with you in combat, forever your slave. Creepy once you think about it. What do you think, Rena?

Rena: It sounds like a great way to raise an army. I applaud this creative idea.

Yeah, that's just about what I expected. Anyway, before Micah can think of what the best method of escape is, suddenly someone else shows up. It's a little girl named Monica. She looks extremely angry for some odd reason. Her appearance suggests that she's Shara's younger sister, or at least related to her in some way.

Monica: RARRR!!!
Micah: ...?
Old Man: Monica, stop it! Shara! Do something!

Micah can breathe a sigh of relief, as the old guy has saved him. Oh right, this old man is named Wells. He's the "???" from the very beginning of the first update. For now, Micah can consider him an ally, considering he just saved his life. Well, technically it was Shara, but Micah knows that she only saved him because Wells ordered her to. This was probably all part of her plan to make Micah's death look like an accident, or at least pin it on her younger sister. How evil.

Shara: Sorry... that's my sister. She doesn't like strangers.
Micah: Yeah, I'll say...
Shara: Be careful that she doesn't bite you when you talk to her.
Micah: ... She bites?
Shara: Um, anyway! Have this magic seed! Your very own Sword Magic Seed!
Micah: Thanks, I guess...
Shara: Here, let me explain the bulletin board to you!

With extremely mixed feelings, Micah follows Shara outside. He now has another way to defend himself, but can he really trust Shara? How's he to know if this magic seed won't actually eat him alive instead? Anyway, the bulletin board is easy to understand. It's basically where you can get quests from the other villagers, usually to see their events when your relationship with them is high enough. But before I forget, we should ask someone whether or not we should actually use this magic seed to defend ourselves. And who better to ask than a sadistic 12-year-old girl?

Rena: Well, if it backfires, then the plant will likely eat him alive, and I'll be able to whistle a merry tune to accompany his unheard death wails. If it doesn't, then the plant will be able to fight his enemies, and hopefully inflict just as horrifying a death to all of them. So really, it's win-win either way.
GD: Wow, you're evil. What kind of horrible monster created you?
Rena: ...
GD: ...
Rena: ...
GD: ... Oh, right.

Anyway, back to the game, something extremely creepy happens.

Shara: Actually, I have a request for you already, Micah! You should accept it now for practice!
Micah: Wait, what? But I just checked it before I entered your shop, and it was completely blank!
Shara: I don't know what you mean. Just accept it!
Micah: Um, okay.
Shara: *Casually walks away*

Curses, I knew that Shara was good, but not that good. She must have great skills, being able to write a request without us noticing. This just means that she's an even greater threat than I previously thought. Anyway, Micah takes a look at the request, appropriately titled "My First request...". I should note something now. The request simply says that you have to talk to Shara in order to get the details of your request. However, Shara just walked away. Shara is a jerk. Thankfully, she doesn't walk too far away, and Micah manages to catch up to her. So, the basic summary of what this request is?

Shara: Since this is your first time doing this, let's start with something easy. Try introducing yourself to everyone!
Micah: Introduce myself to everyone... got it. But I'm kind of scared that this will end up with me dying.
Shara: Don't be silly. Oh, and don't forget Daria. She lives in the house to the southwest in Privera Forest.

Well, introducing himself to everyone was basically was Micah's plan was, so this works out pretty well. Besides, maybe he's just being paranoid. In fact, he's ready to try talking to some people he's already talked to! He's so confident, he decides that the first person he's going to talk to is Monica. They probably got off on the wrong foot, and an innocent child like that couldn't be TOO dangerous... could she?

Micah: Nice to meet you. I'm Micah. I hope we can be friends!
Monica: Don't come near me! I'll bite you! Rarr!!! You're a weirdo stranger!
Micah: Um...
Monica: Don't come near me! *CHOMP*
Micah: Owwwww!
Monica: Now stay away from my sister! I can bite lots harder than that!

Micah falls to the ground, bleeding excessively. Everything turns red as he struggles to remain conscious. His breathing is heavy, and he desperately tries to think. How could he have let his guard down like that? Of course the younger sister of Shara would be dangerous, yet he completely let his guard down, and was now going to suffer a horrible death. He noticed that Monica had walked away, meaning that instead of being mercifully finished off, Micah would die a long, slow and painful death. Well, this was probably bad. I need suggestions. What does Rena think?

Rena: Look at all that blood! How simply magnificent! Marvelous! I like that girl already. Her technique is unrefined, but she has plenty of potential!
GD: Why does this not surprise me?

Anyway, Micah obviously needs help, and quickly. So he tries to crawl out of the shop, hoping someone will show up. Thankfully, the old man from earlier shows up to talk to him, but he doesn't seem to notice the fact that Micah is currently dying a little .

Wells: Hello, I'm Shara's grandfather. I'm the mayor of this town.
Micah: It's nice to meet you. Help me please.
Wells: Have a good day then. Bye.

And with that, Wells casually walks away. I am suddenly reminded that Wells is relatively normal, and has a rather boring introduction, in contrast to most of the other characters in the game. Of course, one would think that he would have more of a reaction to someone lying down in front of him dying (totally not something I added in) but that's besides the point. Micah can't die! The LP can't end this early, that would be really bad. Besides, it's impossible to get a Game Over in this game. If you ever run out of HP, you get knocked out and are taken back to the village. But that doesn't matter right now. I'm pretty sure that Micah wouldn't want to suffer. Micah continues to crawl, leaving the shop. Thankfully, there's someone just outside! It's a purple-haired girl with an umbrella. Her name is Sofia. Maybe she can help!

Micah: I don't believe we've met. Help? Kind of dying.
Sofia: It has been some time since we last spoke.
Micah: Wait, what? But I've never talked to you. And why are you treating this so casually!?
Sofia: What's your name?
Micah: Oh, sorry. Hi, I'm Micah, I live in the big tree. I'm dying. Help.
Sofia: Your face utterly repulses me.
Micah: What's wrong with my face?! I know I'm covered in blood, but my face is fine!
Sofia: You are most welcome. I am Sofia. Now then, I am far too busy for any visitors! So be sure to stop by my place anytime!
Micah: But you just said you'd be busy...
Sofia: Indeed. I won't be waiting for you.

And with that, the strange purple-haired girl casually leaves. Great, just great. That conversation just left Micah more confused by what was going on, and he was still kind of dying. Oh right, Sofia is a possible love interest for the protagonist. But right now Micah kind of needs to focus on not dying, so he continues crawling. Aimlessly crawling, he winds up in what seems to be a forest of some sort. He almost instantly regrets his decision, but there's hope! There's a house nearby! Maybe whoever lives there is friendly.

Rena: You know, I like the people of this village already. All of them are so... unique.
GD: That's one way to put it.

As Micah crawls to the building, he is thankful that the door is slightly open. However, if at all possible, he only gets more confused by the image that greets him. What looks like a female elf is standing in front of a painting. This is Daria. She can also be pursued.

Daria: La la laaa~ Rainbow! It's incredible! Beautiful! This will show everyone what a staggering genius I am! I'll be world famous! People will be lining up to interview me! I'll give lectures to packed parties! Invited to fabulous parties! ... But if I get too busy, I won't be able to work on art anymore. That would be tragic. I'll need assistants! A hundred of them! ... I need to start looking.

Well, Micah isn't sure what's going on, but it looks like Daria needs help. An assistant for something, apparently. Maybe if he agrees to be her assistant, Daria will help Micah with his urgent task of not dying. Of course, this needs to be done casually. He can't just freak out.

Micah: Hi, I'm dying.
Daria: ...
Micah: Yep. ... What are you staring at? Oh, wait... I guess I am sort of dying.
Daria: Your face is fascinating...
Micah: That's what you're focused on!? Hello? Dying!
Daria: You should model for me sometime! You can't choose a better artist to capture your form! I'm an artist extraordinaire! Rainbow!
Micah: Uh, impressive. So how about helping me now?
Daria: Actually, you'd be a better assistant than a model. Hold on, let me use some of your blood. I'm running out of red paint. What's your name?
Micah: Micah. And sure, use my blood I guess. Listen, I realize I keep repeating this, but I am dying, so...
Daria: You're Micah? I'm Daria. Come by any time if you want to look at my masterpieces!

Immediately after saying that, Daria stops paying attention to Micah and resumes painting. Realizing how futile it would be to attempt getting help from her, Micah proceeds to crawl away. This was just getting worse and worse. Still, there had to be someone who could help him out in this village. There had to be. Of course, he didn't know the layout of the village very well, and his vision was getting rather blurred as well. He noticed a few people pass by, but they didn't seem to pay any attention to him.

Rena: The people of this town are so apathetic. I wish more people could be like them.
GD: Well, the world would be a much more interesting place if that happened.

Thankfully, Micah finds a friendly building! Or at least it should be friendly. It's a weapon shop, and Micah remembers that Gaius runs a weapon shop! He should be able to help him! He desperately crawls towards the shop. Once again, the door is open, which is rather odd. It seems like every building had its door open for some reason. When he enters, Micah barely notices that there are a lot of weapons around. The voice that greets him isn't Gaius though. Standing behind the counter is Raven. Maybe it's just her personality, maybe it's this village's general apathy, but she doesn't seem to care that Micah is currently bleeding to death in front of her. Then again, he has lasted for a long time already.

Raven: Welcome... do you want to buy something? If you aren't, leave.
Micah: I've gone over this a few times... kind of dying. Where's Gaius?
Raven: Near the forge...
Gaius: There we go! It's finished! Oh, hi Micah. Is there something you want to buy?
Micah: If you had any potions or bandages, that would be great.
Gaius: Oh, sorry, don't sell those here. Do you want a weapon? Doesn't matter what kind. I'm happiest when I'm hard at work, striking my hammer by the heat of the forge... take your time, make yourself at home!
Micah: What? But I'm dying... and Raven said...
Raven: ... What?
Micah: ... Nothing.

With that out of the way, Micah just how hard it'll be to find someone who's willing to actually help him out. Gaius is a good person, but he's obsessed with making weapons and armor. He is currently making weapons, so it'll be hard to get his attention. Oh right, I should mention something. Gaius' in-game bio says that he's a dwarf. He definitely doesn't look like a typical dwarf. We never really find out much about them though. When Micah attempts to talk to him, they have an extremely casual relationship about everything they already knew about each other, in case you already forgot Gaius is the weapon store owner. Despite knowing how futile it is, Micah attempts to talk to Raven, though it has different results than he expected.

Raven: ...
Micah: ...
Raven: ... What do you want?
Micah: Oh, uh... nothing.
Raven: Nice to meet you...
Micah: What?
Raven: ...

Momentarily surprised, Micah nonetheless knows that he can't exactly stick around and chat. Well, he could, but would probably be a bad decision at this point. And so, once again, Micah continues his endless crawl. He finds a very gigantic-looking mansion. Mansions are nice.

Rena: This mansion reminds me of...
GD: No one will get the reference.
Rena: I'll make any references that I want.

... Well, anyway, entering the mansion brings us to an interesting scene. A middle-aged man with green hair is eating, being fed by a girl with purple hair. A girl with purple hair that has a similar shade of hair to Sofia, as a matter of fact. The middle-aged man is Sherman. The purple-haired girl is Evelyn. This is a very strange family.

Sherman: Yuck! ... More!!!
Evelyn: Just a moment.
Sherman: The 3-star chef's cooking is very terrible, I must say! ... More, please!!!
Evelyn: Sure thing. I'll have to thank Blaise. But you do eat too much, Father.
Sherman: I shall contemplate on it for some time, and get back to you, dear.

*2 seconds later*
Sherman: ... More!!!
Evelyn: Okay, just a moment.

Yeah. Micah does not need to be a genius to figure out that he likely isn't going to get help here. But suddenly, someone does show up! It's Sofia, from earlier. The conversation continues.

Sofia: Good night, Father!
Sherman: Indeed! Bad morning, my ugly Sofia!
Sofia: I detest you, Father.
Evelyn: Always speaking in opposites... Why do they have to make everything so difficult?

If you hadn't figured it out yet, Sherman and Sofia speak in opposites. It's kind of inconsistent though, since sometimes they speak normally. However, their opposite-speak is in red text, so it's pretty obvious. Evelyn is the only one among her family who doesn't speak in opposite-speak. Do not let this make you think she's normal. She's weird in her own way, which we'll see later. Also, it may surprise you to know that Evelyn actually isn't a possible love interest. Micah realizes it's kind of rude to stain the mansion's carpet with his blood, but considering the fact that he's dying, he thinks they'll be able to forgive him. He tries talking with Sherman first.

Micah: You know, I've mentioned to a lot of people that I'm dying.
Sherman: Oh, it's not the first time we've met, Mister newcomer.
Micah: What? We've met?
Sherman: Yes. I'm Sherman. And you are?
Micah: ... Micah.
Sherman: Starting today, we aren't acquaintances.

Opposite-speak is something that Micah never really gets used to, since he usually still ends up confused by what Sherman and Sofia are trying to say. To be honest, I don't really blame him. He doesn't have red text to help him, and it'd be confusing hearing someone talk like that. Perhaps he can talk to Evelyn instead. She seems more reasonable.

Micah: We haven't met, I think. I could be wrong. Nearly being dead makes it harder to remember things.
Evelyn: And who might you be?
Micah: I'm Micah. I moved to the big tree. Please help me.
Evelyn: Oh right, the amnesiac! That must have been a harrowing experience. I hope you get better soon...
Micah: I'd probably feel better if anyone noticed that I was bleeding to death. The only person who did notice just used my blood for paint.
Evelyn: Anyway, I'm Evelyn. Have you met my family? They speak in opposites. They can be tough to deal with.
Micah: That sounds so difficult... and pointless.
Evelyn: Please try to look past their eccentricities. Maybe you'll become such good friends that they'll talk bad about you behind your back!
Micah: That... seems like a counter intuitive goal!

Pretty obvious Evelyn just doesn't care at all that Micah is dying. Micah knows what must be done. There is only one thing that can be done now. Unless...

GD: Quickly Rena, you can manipulate blood! That's your superpower! There's blood all over him, heal him!
Rena: Hm... no.
GD: Why?
Rena: I prefer to watch him suffer instead.

Once more, Micah cries a little inside. There is only one thing that can be done... but not just yet. He continues to crawl, this time to a beach. There's a house there too. His luck hasn't really been very good so far, but maybe it'll change! How many houses has he tried so far? Four? Five? Maybe it'll be different now! ... Yeah, Micah likes to try and convince himself that's the case. What he walks into looks like a scene from some sort of TV soap opera. Two people are talking, both appear to be siblings, judging by their mutual green hair. A brother and sister. The brother is named Carlos. The sister is named Carmen. She's a possible love interest.

Carmen: Oh, my dearest brother! Forgive me, but I must depart!
Carlos: My beloved sister! Must you leave me so soon? I simply cannot bear to see you go!
Micah: ...?
Carmen: I am devasted beyond words, brother! But it is time for me to make my own way! I must leave... to go fishing!
Carlos: Be careful, my darling sister! Please come back alive! I could not bear to hear of your demise!
Carmen: Oh, my dearest brother... Oh, hey! It's a customer!
Carlos: Hey there! Welcome to Carlos' Resort! This your first time here?

Just in case you're wondering, no, this moment never really gets explained in the game. I can only assume that this is a normal thing for the two of them and that they enjoy acting over-dramatic about minor things because it's fun. Pretty sure it's all just a joke. Anyway, these two seem friendly, so Micah's hopes are slightly raised. Just slightly.

Carmen: We raise fish and release them in the lake out back!
Carlos: That's right! It's like taking a trip to an exotic tropical island! The cost is a bit high, but you can fish all day! Either me or my sister will always be at the counter. Feel free to ask us anything!
Micah: Um, yeah... if I die, can you please leave my body at sea?
Carlos: Uh.... sure thing, bro.

Carlos and Carmen don't really say much when you talk to them, aside from a basic conversation that's boring in comparison to the scene we just witnessed. The conversations are mostly just there to establish that they both really love fishing. And that Carlos is overprotective of Carmen. Also, they aren't lying. Their fishing resort actually IS a great deal. Fishing is a great way to make money in this game. There's one particular fish later on that will pretty much solve all of your money problems. But now that's not important. Today has been a rough day. It's still not even noon yet, but Micah needs to do something quickly, because this update is already really long.

And so, Micah crawls all the way to his home, to write in his diary for now. Just in case, he also writes his will, his last resort, despite only having 500 gold, a Rusty Hoe, an Old Waterpot, basic dual blades, three seeds he hasn't used yet, and a magic seed that may or may not kill him in his possession. Actually, that's not so bad. All of it will be given to Gaius, because everyone else is rich (Sofia, Evelyn, Sherman), possibly evil (Shara, Monica), would probably try to use them as paint materials (Daria), hasn't really talked to Micah much (Wells), would likely feel odd accepting gifts (Raven), or runs a fishing resort that could use the money, but the rest is kind of useless (Carlos, Carmen).

Well then... that's all for now. This update is really long. Trust me, days usually won't be this long. This has been half a day, but introducing the cast takes a while. So far, we've met slightly more than half the villagers. Yeah. Trust me, future updates will likely cover multiple days at once, since there won't be anything happening on those days. Also, since there was no combat this day (only a struggle for survival), Micah is still level 2.

Okay then, that's all for now. You've all met some of the crazy characters this game has to offer. I think that just about wraps everything up...

Rena: Wait just a moment!
GD: ... What is it?
Rena: I only get half a day!? Actually, even that's not accurate. It has only been five hours in-game time! I am tempted to break my promise. I can harm you if I wish.
GD: Uh... well, honestly, looking at how eventful some days will be, I might actually end up having you been a guest commentator again.
Rena: This isn't adequate.
GD: You know, the next guest will probably get the rest of the day, which isn't much better? Anyway, sorry. But this was an eventful day, so maybe in some ways you actually get more screen time than other guests.
Rena: ... I suppose I can't complain. Very well, I shall take my leave.
GD: Right. Thanks for joining us. And for not killing me.
Rena: I try to be polite.

!!NEW CHARACTERS!!

Name: Monica
Commentary: Oh, what can I say about Monica that this update doesn't explain? She really doesn't like strangers. However, don't worry. She will get much more friendly later. You know, child characters are characters that I tend to either love or hate, simply because they can be done or well. I didn't like Monica at first, but she does get better later. For now, her voice sounds overly confrontational and somewhat bratty. She's Shara's younger sister, and the granddaughter of Wells.


Name: Wells
Commentary: For now, Wells is honestly... kind of boring. Imagine that typical grumpy old man character (along with a voice that matches) and you've got him. He is relatively normal. He starts showing a more interesting personality as the plot progresses, but overall, he never really was a very interesting character to me.


Name: Sofia
Commentary: From what I hear, people seem to either like Sofia for her opposite speak, or dislike her for the exact same reason. I'm in the former group myself. Sofia is the sister of Evelyn, and the daughter of Sherman. I'd also like to note that her in-game bio describes her as "haughty", and I honestly have no clue where that came from. After translating her opposite speak, she's one of the nicest characters in the game, and she never really brings up her family's wealth. Her voice is very cheerful, and she shows no hints of lying. So you have someone cheerfully insulting you while actually complimenting you. I have to say it fits. She's a possible love interest.


Name: Daria
Commentary: In the update, I casually mentioned that Daria is an elf. Unfortunately, the history of elves is never really explored. All that you get to know is that Daria happens to be one. She loves rainbows (Her catchphrase is shouting "RAINBOW" in an over-the-top manner) and she's very eccentric. She's also obsessed with art. Even her bio acknowledges it. All other characters have a section that lists their family members. Daria's family section simply reads "Her art". Daria has the loudest voice clips in the game, without a doubt. She always sounds focused and energetic in an odd way. A possible love interest.


Name: Sherman
Commentary: Like his daughter Sofia, Sherman speaks in opposites. He's pretty much always cheerful, and loves food. He shares another similarity with his daughter though, in that both of their profiles list them having traits that they never really show. Sherman's profile calls him "arrogant", but he never really acts arrogant. His family is very rich. He cares a lot about his two daughters, Sofia and Evelyn. His voice sounds... well, just picture the voice of a typical jolly, rich gentleman. That's about it.


Name: Evelyn
Commentary: Evelyn's in-game profile is actually rather accurate, unlike the profiles of Sherman and Sofia. She probably seems rather normal right now, especially in comparison to the rest of her family, but trust me, she's arguably even stranger than both of them. You'll see what I mean soon enough. She runs a clothing store in the game, which doesn't do much aside from change Micah's appearance, and a lot of the outfits are just pallete swaps of each other anyway. I'll probably end up buying them all enough though. She actually isn't a possible love interest.


Name: Carmen
Commentary: Well, Carmen is pretty much the tomboy of the game. She runs a fishing resort along with her brother, Carlos. Her character events show her go through a significant amount of character development, if I recall correctly. She's usually rather cheerful, and loves fishing. Also, that hat is very nice, and I want one. Tragically, there is no way to get a hat like that in this game, which makes me very sad. Overall, she's one of the more normal villagers, but she certainly has her eccentricities. She's a possible love interest.


Name: Carlos
Commentary: Carlos is sort of the classic overprotective older brother. And I really do mean that. As in, he gets really protective of Carmen and sort of threatens Micah very early into Carmen's events. You could call him very paranoid, though eventually he stops being so paranoid. Aside from that though, he's a nice guy in general and very friendly. He can also be a bit full of himself, though I'm honestly not sure if he does it jokingly, or if he's actually serious.

I calmly prepare myself for what is about to happen. I put away my tools for an ancient ritual which I do not require at this time. Said ritual is how I create long walls of text RP posts. This ritual requires blood sacrifices and singing a song while also doing battle with an evil demon. Yes, that's totally how I manage to create my RP posts. No doubt about it. I hear knocking on the door. Perfect.

Opening the door, I quickly note that it's a windy day. Not exactly too cold, but still very windy. So when I open the door, I find myself looking at a mage. A dark mage, to be exact, with black hair, which was neatly combed except for two hair antennae which were rather tall. He has a rather annoyed look on his face, and he wears all-black robes. He's also carrying a staff of some sort. He doesn't ask for permission to go inside, instead just entering. This is Clement Sage, from Endless Time. He's actually an NPC character, but he's important enough (to one of my characters) for me to count him as an RP character. Clement is an extremely arrogant dark mage, who's rather average but thinks he's the best dark mage ever. This will go well.

Clement: So, are we starting soon? Also, this place is filthy. I deserve much better than this.
GD: Yes, we're starting soon. No, this place isn't filthy.
Clement: Of course YOU would say that.
GD: You realize that you're calling your own creator's home filthy, right?
Clement: ... Quiet. I can do as I please. Just start this already, and I'll give commentary when needed.
GD: Right, that's probably for the best.
Clement: After all, obviously everyone is here just for me. Hmhmhmhm~
GD: ... I'm pretty sure no one reading this even knows who you are.

Well, let's start the next update!



When we last left Micah, he was struggling to stay alive after being bitten by an evil demon of hell Shara's younger sister, Monica. Bleeding all over the floor and now needing to crawl everywhere, he realizes that he REALLY needs to find a clinic or something. A hospital, maybe. Someone that can help him out. Given his current state, he couldn't exactly think rationally, but there had to be SOMEONE in this town who could help him. After all, any town needed at least one person with some skill at healing people. Then again, this wasn't exactly a normal town, so maybe they instead hired people to torture everyone instead.

As Micah begins his crawl, something strange happens. Right above his head, the words "Skill Up" appear, along with a victory fanfare. He is momentarily confused, but then brushes it aside. He's probably just seeing things. However, this actually has something to do with the game. In this game, there are things called "skills", which aren't exactly what you'd expect at first... well, they kind of are, but not really. Basically, if you do something in this game enough times, your "skill" at it will increase. This only affects your stats, as having a higher level at a skill will make it so that your stats associated with that skill rise. I honestly never paid too much attention to them. Mostly because they're just so ridiculous.

When I say ridiculous, I really do mean it. This game has skills for everything. There are skills for things that actually make sense, such as Fishing or your ability with certain weapons. However, there are also skills for sleeping, eating, and walking. If you're curious, then currently our only skill is at walking, which is level 2. I am NOT going to keep track of these, mostly because there are so many, and also because I'm pretty sure it wouldn't mean much telling you about what they affect. However, I will say that your Walking skill affects HP, RP, and VIT. I'm pretty sure it goes without saying that I am not going to be actively trying to raise any skills.

Clement: Gaining skills through repetition? That sounds mind-numbingly boring.
GD: Well, honestly, you can mostly ignore them. I usually manage to get them pretty high without caring much.
Clement: Ah, I see. So by being a lazy slob who rests and eats all the time, you gain great power.
GD: That's not exactly right. It's mostly because as an RPG protagonist, Micah goes through a lot.
Clement: Assuming he doesn't die at this point. Look at how filthy he's making the town! Inexcusable.
GD: ... You're worried about that?

While I was busy rambling about skills, Micah successfully managed to crawl all the way to a building. This one looks menacing and unfamiliar. The sign to it reads "Blaise's Diner", but Micah can't help but be worried. He wouldn't put it past these people to be cannibals, after all. Micah decides that it's probably best to not take any chances, when suddenly it starts raining (seriously). Well, at least that will wash off all the blood that Micah has no doubt left behind. Still, getting a cold in addition to being nearly dead isn't exactly something Micah wants to experience, so he crawls into the diner, not sure what to expect.

It's not as bad as he expected. Two people eating, one of them being Sherman, and someone sitting behind a counter, presumably the owner. The third person, who is also eating, is a blonde-haired girl by the name of Collette. She's the Big Eater of the game who somehow manages to stay skinny. She's a possible love interest. The guy behind the counter is Blaise, the owner of this diner. Blaise is also the father of Collette. Micah decides to listen in on the conversation they're having.

Sherman: Oh, dreadful! Absolutely dreadful! Take this food... and DOUBLE my helping!
Collette: I ate 10 plates, but I'm still SO hungry! Gimme more!
Blaise: Here you go! Ten more plates of High Orc Rice and Alvarna Escargot, coming up!
Sherman: This is truly an abomination!
Blaise: That means a lot coming from you, Sherman. Enjoy you rmeal! Oh, and Collete... it might help to actually chew this time.
Collette: But that's such a waste! I'll try though! Now gimme gimme gimme!

Micah isn't sure what to make of this conversation. On one hand, it doesn't sound like they're cannibals or anything like that. On the other hand, maybe they're just wasting for some poor hapless fool to show up so they can butcher them. Micah fits that description fairly well, but none of them have noticed him yet. He's ready to try leaving, when suddenly someone else shows up. This looks like a male around his age, named Rusk. He's Collette's brother, and the son of Blaise.

Rusk: Always wolfing down food without a second thought...
Collette: I heard that, Rusk! And I keep telling you, I have a lightning-fast metabolism! I need to EAT! I can't help it!
Rusk: Hmph. I prefer quality over quantity...

Okay, this is a decision that could either save Micah or doom him. After changing his mind about 29 times, Micah finally decides to try talking to one of them. He's already talked to Sherman, and given that he wasn't much help before, Micah wasn't going to try talking to him. Maybe Rusk could help him out! He seemed fairly normal.

Micah: Help! This town is full of crazy people!
Rusk: Oh, hi. Who are you again?
Micah: Name's Micah. Hope we can be friends. Are all of you going to try to slaughter me for meat?
Rusk: Wait, what? No! I only like sweet foods.

Realizing that he pretty much wasted his time, Micah decides to try talking to someone else, instead of breaking down and crying himself to sleep. Almost no one has reacted to the fact that Micah is currently bleeding all over the place. This either means that they're used to seeing things like this, or they just don't care. Possibly both. Either one is horrifying on its own. Also, I should probably mention that Rusk is likely the least-developed character in the game. He doesn't have much personality other than being the most normal villager, along with loving sweet foods. In-game, his intro conversation is actually fairly boring. I always liked him for some reason though. Anyway, let's try talking to Blaise.

Micah: Hi, I'm currently bleeding all over the place. Please be normal.
Blaise: Oh, you're that fella living who's livin' in the tree, right? Don't think we've been introduced.
Micah: Is no one in this town normal!? IREALIZEIMCOMPLAININGALOTBUTCOMEONHELPMEOUTPLEASE!
Blaise: ... Uh... okay. Anyway, I'm the head chef here at Blaise's Diner. If you want some home cookin', you're always welcome here.
Micah: I don't think I'm in any condition to be eating right now. I shall consider your offer later, assuming I don't die.

This really isn't going well so far. Well, not all hope is lost. There's still Collette, and if she can't help, then... well, Micah would figure something out. There were still a few buildings he hadn't checked yet. He didn't really feel like doing any more crawling, but maybe it would make him all-powerful somehow. Too bad there isn't a "crawling" skill in this game. Anyway, Micah isn't sure what to expect, but perhaps it'll be a normal conversation? ... Yeah, right.

Collette: Hey, you! You're goin' DOWN!
Micah: How? I'm already down. I've sort of been forced to crawl everywhere.
Collette: No, down in an eating contest!
Micah: ... An eating contest with you? Wait, what am I saying? I couldn't eat even if I wanted to.
Collette: Don't look at me like that! You're giving me the evil eye. You're just jealous of my epic metabolism!
Micah: What are you talking about!?
Collette: I can see it in your eyes! In EVERYONE's eyes! You all want my metabolism! Don't deny it!
Micah: ... I'm just going to crawl away now... I need to uh... water my house. Yeah.

Feeling frustrated, Micah quickly crawls away. Okay, at least these people weren't cannibals, since they didn't try to capture him. That was... reassuring, somewhat. Still, there was something off about this town. Well, there was a lot that felt "off" about this town, but there was something in particular that was strange. What happened when someone actually got injured? Did no one care? Someone needs to heal Micah. Him dying would result in the end of the LP, which would make me sad. I need to find a competent healer. Clement, your thoughts?

Clement: Just let me handle it! If my cousin could learn dark-healing magic, then I can learn it at least twice as quickly!
GD: ... Yeah, no.
Clement: What!? Why not!? Oh, I see. How amusing. You just don't want the spotlight taken away from you. You know that I could easily take over this LP without lifting a finger.
GD: No, it's because I'm pretty sure you would make him explode or something instead.
Clement: I would not! I've never messed up a magic spell ever before in my life!

Meanwhile, Micah manages to crawl to the front of a building that doesn't look special in any way. There's a sign in front of it, but at this point, his vision is so faded that he can't see the words. For all he knows, he could be walking into a torture chamber or a gate to another dimension for all he knew. He noticed that everything around him was spinning, and turning into funny colors. He wasn't sure how he could be spinning if he was crawling, but oh well. Clearly stepping inside this strange building was the most fun option. Almost immediately, a blue-haired witch by the name of Marian comes to greet him. Marian is a possible love interest.

Marian: Oh boy, a patient! Here, hold still! *Takes out about 100 needles*
Micah: Wait, what? Yay! Someone actually cares that I'm bleeding! ... But I get the feeling that will kill me instead.
Marian: Don't worry, this shot will solve everything! All the pain will go away!
Micah: That could be taken a different way, you know...
Marian: I said hold still!

As Micah cowers away, he realizes what's happening. He was wrong before. It wasn't Shara that was the most evil girl ever and who was probably most likely to dissect him or something. No, it was this crazy girl standing right in front of him. Shara is like a poodle compared to her. Now Micah was probably going to die a horrible death or something. There was no room for escape, and he was pretty sure that he would fall unconscious even if he did escape. Suddenly, someone shows up. It's an old woman, by the name of Marjorie. She's Marian's grandmother.

Marjorie: Marian, that's enough! I'm sorry, she never listens to me...
Marian: Don't stop me! This is a reasonable cure for an illness!
Micah: Wait, what? Excessive bleeding is an illness? Maybe that's actually true. I can't tell. Can't think.
Marjorie: You can hardly call a treatment just as likely to fail as it is to work a "cure"... Anyway, he's not sick.
Micah: Just dying. You know, no rush.
Marjorie: Honestly Marian, you sill witch... stop trying to play doctor.
Marian: It's not silly! There are some things that magic can't heal! Hey, you! Let me borrow you so I can prove my medicine works!

After saying nothing, the conversation kind of dissolves. Also, I just realized that this will likely be strange. I have an RP character called Marian, so if I ever use her as a guest, then this will likely be very odd. I'll need to think of something to fix that. So yeah. Marjorie and Marian are both witches, and they're more or less the healers of this village, though Marian's cures aren't exactly effective. Whenever you faint, you wind up here to recover. Talking to both of them leads to relatively normal conversations that aren't notable at all, especially in comparison to what just transpired.

Realizing that even the town's healers don't care that he's bleeding to death, Micah just sort of stops to think. Something needs to happen. Someone needs to save him. No hero magically shows up to save him. This could be bad.

Clement: Just let me heal him! I'm the greatest dark mage in the world!
GD: First of all, no you aren't. But you know what? Go ahead. Do it.
Clement: You fool, how dare you prevent one as great as I from- wait, what?
GD: I said go ahead. It's not like this can get any worse.
Clement: ... Oh. Very well then. Watch this!
*5 minutes later*

Clement: It worked!
GD: Okay, how do we dispose of the bod- what did you just say?
Clement: Are you deaf? It worked. I'm a genius.

Clement is actually telling the truth. Somehow, some way, Micah is now standing tall, no longer bleeding! Clement must have gotten really lucky, since he's an average dark mage. Still, the LP is saved! We can continue! I won't have to end it after only three updates after all. Overall, this is actually going pretty well.

Micah: Wait, you care more about the LP ending than me dying?
GD: ... Anyway, moving on.

With all of this in mind, Micah proceeds to go ahead and head back to his house. There are still two buildings that he hasn't visited yet, but right now, he just wants to write in his diary again. Of course, he realizes he'll need to be careful. This town is extremely dangerous, and who knows what could be lurking around the corner. In fact, I bet his diary is possessed or something, and it'll give him some deathly illness as soon as he touches it. When he manages to write in it without contacting some sort of disease, I breathe a sigh of relief.

Okay then. It feels odd, ending the update already, but also right in a way. I think I like shorter updates like this, in comparison to ones that are long like the previous one. It means that my guest commentator gets less lines, but I feel more comfortable this way, and it's easier to write. Not to mention it takes a lot less time. Seriously. That longer update took me a really long time to write, though that may be just because I'm lazy. Well then... that'll be all. Any closing comments, Clement?

Clement: Only that I'll likely grace all of you with my presence later. These updates being shorter surely means that I will be needed later.
GD: Maybe, maybe not. This game was fairly long during my first playthrough, but maybe it'll be different this time since I know what to do.
Clement: Well then, I must be off. When will I ever appear again?
GD: Whenever I stop being lazy and actually start writing again.
Clement: I see. A decade, then.
GD: Sounds about right.

I don't think I need to say this, but since there was no combat in this update, Micah is still level 2. Anyway...

!!NEW CHARACTERS!!

Name: Blaise
Commentary: Blaise is fairly normal. He's a 3-star chef, and basically the best chef in the game unless Micah increases his skill enough. We can buy a bunch of kitchen utensils from him, but they're rather pricey. Overall, Blaise could certainly be disguised as rather stoic (though he says he doesn't try to come across that way) but still rather friendly. He's the father of Rusk and Collette. There's a semi-running gag in the game that it's a bad idea to give him Wine due to something that happened a long time ago, but we're never told what happened.


Name: Rusk
Commentary: I think I pretty much said everything I wanted to about him. He is the most normal character in the game. He loves sweets. I always liked him for some odd reason though. He's the brother of Collette, and is Blaise's son.


Name: Collette
Commentary: I seem to remember that Collette does have a significant amount of character development throughout her events. She's definitely not a bad character, but I've never really been too fond of her for some reason. Then again, maybe I'm wrong. I remember liking Collette's events, so maybe she'll seem like a better character to me on this playthrough. Collete is the sister of Rusk, and the daughter of Blaise. She loves pretty much all food. She's a possible love interest.


Name: Marian
Commentary: Marian is a witch, who happens to be kind of over-eager at the idea of discovering new cures. As in, several times in the game, she will seriously try to get someone to test out her new "cures", which rarely work. She DOES mean well though, but most of the townsfolk try to avoid her. I recall that she actually gets a good amount of character development, and does show a serious side later on. She's the granddaughter of Marjorie, and a possible love interest. Unless I'm remembering incorrectly, she's actually good friends with Collette.


Name: Marjorie
Commentary: Now that I think about it, we never do find out too much about the history of witches. However, what we do find out mostly comes from Marjorie. Marjorie is generally reliable, and she can get annoyed by her granddaughter's actions, though she does still care about her. Also, Marjorie can have an odd sense of humor at times. I'm not sure how to describe it, but she apparently is amused when someone else gets embarrassed. She is also quick to point out if anyone is doing anything stupid, unless I recall incorrectly. There's just one specific moment I remember.

Turning my DS on, I immediately notice that there's something wrong. Something very wrong. So wrong, that its wrongness can not be adequately explained by words. That's how wrong it is. Other than the fact that my guest commentator hasn't arrived yet, I notice that my DS is low on power. Why is it red again? Sure, I hadn't charged it in a while, but clearly there was nothing I could have done to prevent it.

After charging up my DS, I load up the game, still waiting on my guest commentator. I've been wondering if my characters from AAO will be enough... as much as I hate to say it, perhaps I should call in characters that I have used in other sites in the distant past that no one knows about. Yes, that could make sense... that's when I notice that my guest commentator has been with me this whole time. I'm already having regrets about it. I hear loud snoring. This will go well. My guest commentator this time is The Dreaming Guardian, from Where Anything Goes. Said character is based off a misinterpretation on my username. To put it simply, he's not an author self-insert. For one thing, he sleeps a lot more than I do.

GD: So... yeah. This will be interesting commentary. You know, what with you sleeping all of the time.
Dreaming Guardian: Zzzzzzzzz...
GD: Clearly this commentary will be the best commentary ever.
Dreaming Guardian: Zzzzzzzz...
GD: Already, it's obvious that you will be a fan-favorite (if I had fans), and you will be the most requested to come back.

Best. Guest. Ever.



We return to our hero Micah, having miraculously survived an attack from the evil hell-demon (Monica). Speaking of which, Micah is rather weak at this point, seeing as he hasn't really seen too much combat yet. Don't worry about that. He's going to be leveling up a lot soon. I have a plan in specific for that, which will also solve all of this game's money problems. For now though, he is very weak. Not that it matters, since this update will just be him randomly walking around and introducing himself to the five remaining townspeople. Then again, the people of this town are rather dangerous, so maybe it's not entirely fair to say that.

Micah heads on over to what looks like a general store that he passed by before. Or maybe he hadn't passed by it. Being nearly dead makes slightly lose their senses, and while Micah is fine now, he obviously wouldn't remember. That, or maybe he's repressing something horrible that happened. But that would require for me to have skipped over something in the last update. And after all, I would never do that. I tell everything about the story. Anyway, upon entering the shop, Micah seems someone at the front desk. It's a white-haired (silver-haired? Purple-haired? I can't tell) girl. Her name is Karina (Curse you game, stealing the names of my RP characters. Must come up with solution later) and she's a possible love interest. She's also very lazy.

Karina: Huh? We're closed right now. Come back after my nap.
Micah: Oh, uh... okay then.
???: Karina! What do you think you're doing?

Suddenly showing up is Karina's mother, Hazel. How do I describe their relationship? Hazel is hard-working, Karina isn't. I'm pretty sure you can piece together the rest. Now might be as good a time as any to mention that none of the characters in this game have both of their parents. They either have a mom or a dad, or in the case of Shara, neither. It's never really explained where the others parents are. But I like to come up with grim-dark theories, just because I can.

Hazel: You're supposed to be working!
Karina: I AM working. Taking breaks is part of work.
Hazel: You can't take a break when there are customers in the store!
Karina: Sheesh. What a slave driver.
Hazel: Sorry about my lazy daughter. If you ever find her asleep at the counter, go ahead and wake her up. Hey, you're the newcomer right?
Micah: Uh... yeah, that's me.
Hazel: We should explain the shipping system to you then.

Shipping? What do you think, Dreaming Guardian?

Dreaming Guardian: Zzzzzzz...
GD: Truly inspiring. You are brilliant.
Dreaming Guardian: Zzzzzzzz...
GD: Maybe I should have picked another guest...

Anyway, the shipping system is pretty simple. The game system explains it pretty well, but I'll provide my own explanation so it's shorter, and because it likely won't change much for all of you, the viewers at home(?). Basically, near Micah's farm is a shipping box. We can put any items in there, and at 5:00 PM every day in-game, Karina will collect the items and we'll automatically get money equal to the worth of the items. Pretty sure you can put just about any item in the game inside the shipping box. For now, we don't have high-quality items, or even actual plants, but I'll probably put in random junk found around the farm into the shipping box. It clears the rather dirty field, and makes me money. Everyone wins.

After explaining everything, Hazel walks off somewhere. Since I need to talk to every townsperson (and the events don't count as talking to them), I decide to have Micah talk to Karina before leaving.

Micah: Uh... hi.
Karina: Oh, hi. You're the new guy, right?
Micah: That's right.
Karina: My mom makes me work at our general store all the time. (She's such a pain.)
Micah: Uh... okay then.
Karina: You aren't planning on shopping here very often, are you?
Micah: Well... you kind of sell a lot of the things I need.
Karina: *Sigh* (I guess I can't stop you.)

Yay, conversation. Already, Micah is making plenty of friends... which reminds me, I haven't gone too in-depth on the relationship system in this game. It's not terribly complicated though. I'll explain it a bit later. For now, Micah leaves the store, and has a quick chat with Hazel. The conversation is pretty normal, and sort of what Hazel said during the previous event, so I won't write it down.

Well, that just leaves three people left! And luckily, they're all introduced in the exact same event. Though I kind of do want my guest-commentator to talk a bit more. My system for choosing guest-commentators obviously needs improvement. My secret method of secrecy that I can't reveal. A method so secret, that it actually doesn't make much sense now that I think about it.

GD: So, want to wake up now?
Dreaming Guardian: Zzzzz...
GD: In-canon, you're silent, but you can talk here! Do it now! You talked in the RP Diner!
Dreaming Guardian: Zzzzz...
GD: Fine. Be that way. Waste all of your screen-time. I bet no one will like you anyway.
Dreaming Guardian: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
GD: Sadface.

Moving on, Micah enters another building. This also seems to be a store of some kind, though it's also a bathhouse of some sort. Personally, I never really saw too much point to it. But what's important right now is that we're going to meet a few more characters here. Including quite possibly the weirdest character in the game. Two characters come to greet Micah. One is a pink-haired girl named Pia, the other is a black-haired girl named Sakuya. Both of them are possible love interests.

Pia: Welcome! Would you like a bath? Or would you like to BE a bath? Follow me, the bath is right there!
Micah: Wait, what does that mean?
Sakuya: Pia! Don't confuse him like that! I'm really sorry about that.
Micah: Um, it's okay. So... what's going on?
Sakuya: Okay, now come this way!
Micah: Wait, what!? Not you too! I have no clue what's going on!

Pia and Sakuya then proceed to get into an argument about whether or not Micah came there to buy stuff/stay at the inn (What Sakuya thinks) or take a bath (What Pia thinks). Obviously, he's here for neither. Also, in case you're wondering, unless I have amnesia or something, I'm pretty sure you can't actually stay at the inn. Which... makes sense. You know, since Micah has his own house. You can buy stuff (I don't quite remember what they sell) and take a bath (which recovers Micah's HP and RP, if I recall correctly). Never really used the latter, since I thought it cost too much at the start, and by the time you have enough funds to have Micah take a bath regularly, you usually have access to cheaper healing items that solve all of your problems.

Oh right. What was going on before... argument. Right. For some reason, Micah doesn't decide to run away. Clearly he hasn't learned his lesson about how dangerous the townspeople can be. Thankfully, Micah is rescued for the... somethingth time today. Fourth time? Fifth time? I'm not sure. It also depends on what you count as a rescue. Anyway, his rescuer happens to be Sakuya's mother, Shino, who's the person that actually runs this inn-bathhouse-shop-thing.

Shino: That's enough, both of you. The customer always come first. You shouldn't pressure him.
Pia: Sorry for fighting over the customer...
Sakuya: Dang... and I'd concocted the perfect plan too!
Shino: Sakuya...
Sakuya: Uh, nevermind. Forget I said anything.
Shino: Anyway, let me take this moment to formally welcome you to the Miyako Inn.

And that's pretty much it. Well, they do go on to explain the shop and the baths a bit, but that really doesn't matter for the purposes of this LP, since they mostly just state what time they're open. Right... in this game, shops aren't open all the time. All of the characters have their own schedules. Thankfully, all of the times that shops are open are posted on signs, so it really isn't that big of a deal. Just don't expect to suddenly be able to buy anything in the middle of night.

Now then... now's the time to try talking to these three, so that I can actually complete this request. It's taking much longer, which probably has nothing to do with the fact that I'm typing all of this up. I get the feeling that the requests that are actually supposed to be longer will take me less time to go through, since they usually have a bit less dialogue, and are only long because I usually have to go get some sort of item or something. But I digress. Let's try talking to Pia first.

Micah: Hi.
Pia: You're the newcomer everyone's talking about, right?
Micah: Yeah, that's me.
Pia: Well, enough of that! It's time to get you into the bath!
Micah: Wait, right this second?
Pia: Duh, this second! You look haggard or something!
Micah: But I'm fine...
Pia: Really? You sure you don't need even a TINY little scrubbing?
Micah: Emergency retreat!

Baths are serious business for Pia. In comparison to that conversation, Shino and Sakuya's conversations are relatively normal. So normal, that I realize that I need to spice up this update. Maybe now my guest will wake up?

Dreaming Guardian: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Worst guest ever. Anyway, I have Micah search around the house. For some odd reason, Pia's room has a tub full of water. Even more strangely, searching it gets us a... squid. Being a very nice guy, Micah gives it to Pia. And the main reason I'm doing that is because it's the start of a certain running gag.

Pia: Heeeeeeeeeey! I really like these!
Micah: Um, you're welcome. But it was yours.
Pia: I must go destroy all squid! Bye!
Micah: Wait, what?

For some inexplicable reason, Pia hates squid... but she likes being given them as presents, because she can then destroy them. Yeah. Pia is a Cloud-Cuckoo-Lander among all the Cloud-Cuckoo-Landers in this game. Also, this is the part where I explain the "gift" system. Pretty simple. You can basically give a gift to any of the villagers. They all have different tastes, and their relationship with you will go up or down according to what you gave them. Though in my experience, it's pretty hard to make a relationship go down in this game.

Looking at Micah's current relationships, I note that this gift has raised Pia's heart level by a whole point (out of a possible ten), so she has 1 point while all the other characters have 0. Also, characters that can't be romanced have smiley faces instead of heart levels, but they function the same way. There are other ways to raise your relationship with characters, which I'll go over later. Also, if you're wondering, then no, raising relationships isn't as easy as it seems. It takes more to raise someone's relationship when the relationship is higher than it does early on. Though I never had much trouble raising anyone's relationship level, so maybe it actually is a bit easy.

Oh right, I almost forgot! (As in, I only realized this while re-reading all of this) I should probably go talk to Shara again so that this request can actually be completed. I could hold it off until the next update, but that'd kind of be pointless. Besides, most requests give rewards. With that in mind, I have Micah go find Shara, who is in the flower shop. Thankfully, Monica is nowhere in sight, so it's slightly less dangerous than usual.

Micah: I introduced myself to everyone in town.
Shara: That's good. I'll bet you got a "SKILL UP" message while you were walking around town.
Micah: Because walking is so serious, it needs a skill.
Shara: Anyway, I need you to ship an item next. Anything will do. Come talk to me after that.

And so, I have Micah go to his farm and pick up a piece of wood, and then proceed to put it in the shipping bin. That should do it. Clearly that was a lot of hard work. I have Micah go back to Shara...

Micah: Okay, I shipped something.
Shara: Oh, that's good. Here, have a reward. Also, you should know that you'll be getting a letter from my grandfather soon. It'll be in the mailbox next to your house.

Yay. And now for the reward. Also, I'm convinced that Shara has magical powers, since she made a treasure chest appear out of nowhere. But with that logic, every character in this game has magical powers, since that's how you're given rewards for completing requests. It must be so useful, being able to magically conjure something out of thin air. Anyway, the reward itself it 4 "Pink Turnip" seeds. Once again, that probably doesn't mean much to most of you, since I'll mostly be skimming over the farming aspect of the game. It's an okay reward though, for something this early.

Anyway, I kind of feel like I rushed this update... or at least that I had a "Let's get this over with" mentality. That's mostly because typing all of this up can take a while. Hopefully the updates will improve soon enough, since this is mostly just introducing characters. Though that might be because my guest is lazy. Guesty, wake up and say hi to the viewers at home.

GD: No, seriously, wake up.
Dreaming Guardian: Zzzzzzzz...

... Right. I have Micah go write in his journal after some random insignificant stuff happens. Well, to be more specific, I had him clear up the farm a bit, but there's really no way to make that sound exciting without parodying it. I don't even earn any money from the random junk I ship, since in-game time, its past 5:00 PM. Oh well. Hopefully tomorrow the fruits of my labor will pay off... hopefully. Shipping random junk isn't really an efficient way to make money for some reason.

With that, I'm off. So I guess that's it.

GD: ... Please? Say something.
Dreaming Guardian: Zzzzzzz... bye.
GD: Yaaaaaaaay, one word. Brilliant guest-commentary. Clap clap.

!!NEW CHARACTERS!!

Name: Karina
Commentary: What can I say about Karina? She's extremely lazy. Her most common voice clip is a sigh. However, she actually goes through the most character development in her requests (in my opinion, at least) and she has plenty of hidden depths that will become more obvious later. Still, her laziness is a running gag. She has one of those love-hate relationships with her mother Hazel. Also, she's one of the more hilarious characters in the game for me, simply she's so different from one of my RP characters with the name Karina. She's a possible love interest.


Name: Hazel
Commentary: Karina's mother, and a very responsible adult. Aside from that, she's one of the more normal characters in the game. Yep. She seems rather bland at first, but she shows more personality during Karina's events.


Name: Sakuya
Commentary: Think of the typical "Greedy Merchant with a heart of gold", and you more or less have Sakuya. She loves to travel, but doesn't like monsters... I think the problem with that is fairly clear, since all areas in this game have monsters. She runs a shop where she sells stuff she finds in dungeons. I don't remember it being too useful, but I could be wrong. She's the daughter of Shino, and Pia is her adopted sister. She's a possible love interest.


Name: Pia
Commentary: Quite possibly the weirdest character in the game. Which, given the cast, says a lot. Only Daria rivals her. Anyway, Pia isn't all she seems at first either, but in general, she is rather cheerful and weird. There are a few times in her events where she's serious, but for the most part, she's just very cheerful and happy. For some reason, she hates squid. She also really loves fish (not eating them them. The fish themselves. There's a reason for that.). She's a possible love interest.


Name: Shino
Commentary: Very responsible, and also rather kind. She does seem rather generic at first... but she does have an interesting past that's hinted at several times in the game. It's pretty strongly implied that she used to be a ninja, though there aren't many details given about that. Mostly because she can be a bit scary when she talks about her past.